Where the battle's lost and won
If thou wilt return, O Israel, saith the Lord. . . . Jeremiah 4:1.
The battle is lost or won in the secret places of the will before God[K] what are the secret places?, never first in the external world. [K] does this mean I am trying to do it alone? The Spirit of God apprehends me and I am obliged to get alone with God and fight the battle out before Him. [K] What does this look like? Until this is done, I lose every time. [K] to me I am not fighting out the battle before and that is why I am losing! The battle may take one minute or a year, that will depend on me, not on God; but it must be wrestled out alone before God, and I must resolutely go through the hell of a renunciation before Him.[K] I don't understand this part.
Nothing has any power over the man who has fought out the battle before God and won there[K] this is the key …. This is where the victory is … fighting the battle out before God. If I say—'I will wait till I get into the circumstances and then put God to the test,' I shall find I cannot. I must get the thing settled between myself and God in the secret places of my soul where no stranger intermeddles, and then I can go forth with the certainty that the battle is won. [K] If I don't make up my mind, my unmade mind will un make me. Lose it there, and calamity and disaster and upset are as sure as God's decree. The reason the battle is not won is because I try to win it in the external world first. [K] this means trying to do it on my own doesn't it (Pride) Get alone with God, fight it out before Him, settle the matter there once and for all.
In dealing with other people, the line to take is to push them to an issue of will. That is the way abandonment begins. Every now and again, not often, but sometimes, God brings us to a point of climax. That is the Great Divide in the life; from that point we either go towards a more and more dilatory and useless type of Christian life, or we become more and more ablaze for the glory of God—"My Utmost for His Highest."[K] I don't want to be a useless Christian, those words don't even go together. I want to be free. I know the moment I have walked free from this something else will raise its ugly head…. Something else to battle alone before God and that is okay.
As I have read over my responses in red I am thinking that these are the questions that I need to be asking the Lord, I have grown in so many areas of my life, but there is so much more potential there …. I feel it. This is the one thing that is keeping me from going where the Lord wants to take me. I understand that everyone has their stuff and even when I am free from this, I will have other stuff as well. This is my Mt Everest and I am ready to conquer it. Once a man climbs Mt Everest he has conquered the highest mountain there is not another mountain taller. I have climbed a lot of mountains in the Himalayas, It is time to climb Mt Everest I have all the tools!
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