Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Still wounded

Hello All,

It has been a while since I have written anything. So I have a question for you?

When does a deceived person know he has been deceived? I have been deceived at least I feel that way. I have allowed myself to get so busy (Buried Under satan's yoke) that my time with the Lord has suffered. This has caused everything else in my life to come undone. I really thought I was doing well. I really thought I had dealt with everything. Can you say PRIDE! A month ago my mom came to dfw to see her cousin and would not give me 1 hr. of her precious time for lunch unless her cousin came along. She was here for a week. Last night, I had a meltdown. Once again a family member came all the way from Amarillo to DFW to a sports function and did not let me know they were coming. I had to see it on Facebook. (I really hate Facebook) So I sent this person a scathing text message and so he responded with a worse text than mine. In my mind I am thinking I am so done with my family on my side. Nobody talks to each other anymore. I just don't give a rats ass anymore!

James says be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

I didn't listen, I spoke and I became very angry. I became the very person that I despise. I became a Pharisee instead of being Jesus with skin on. The Lord showed me that I am still carrying a wound from my family. The sad thing is my family could all be killed in a plane crash or something and the wound would still be there. I thought I had dealt with all of this, but was shown last night that the wound is very much still there.

I am starting to see a common denominator here and it is me. I saw it last night when I talked to my friend Charlie. When I call him and he is spending time with His dad I get jealous. Why? Because he has a great relationship with his dad and I don't with mine. My wife has great relationships with her family and I don't (same thing happens) I think right now my best relationships with my family are with Nichole and Beau. So obviously I have work to do.

James says in 3:16 For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.

And the Lord speaks. When I am looking for James 3.16 …….. I open up the bible to this verse and see it first.

18 And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.

If nothing changes

Then nothing changes

Kevin