Hello all,

Back a few months ago I signed up for The Way Intensive to be held at the FTS office for three days.  The prep work is 7 weeks.  I am not going to go into all of the prep work because it is not necessary for what I have to say.   When I got to week 4 I felt like I hit a road block.   I felt like I was not supposed to go.  That I had signed up for the wrong reasons.   I did not have time for the prep work.   It was a huge commitment.  It got in the way of my life, my work   you fill in the blank.   While writing this it just dawned on me.   Why do we always sign up so quickly to do Jesus things and then when it gets hard that is the first thing that goes.   I knew someone once who signed up to go on quest staff a few years back.   Couple weeks into it he said that he was going to have to close on his house that sold so he was going to have to back out.   I said “what if this was a vacation you had scheduled during this time?”  would you cancel the vacation?”    No   you would tell the realtor to move the closing date.   He went on quest.  

Sunday night I sent the email to back out of The Way Intensive.  I felt that was what I was supposed to do.   The moment I sent the email I got instant peace about it …. So I thought.  Two days went by and I got called out by two of my brothers in a very loving manner.   So I prayed about it.

Daddy showed me a love letter today from one of the men that called me out.  

Proverbs 27:17 as iron sharpens iron; so one man sharpens another.  

I read his email several times this morning then Holy Spirit said call a certain individual so I did.   the truth is I have been very conflicted since last Friday whether I should be doing this event, when I finally sent the email Sunday night I felt instant peace in my heart about not going. I called the man in my group and I told him what was going on.   I said, “I'm not asking for you to tell me what to do I'm just doing what Holy Spirit said,” then I said, “when I told you guys yesterday morning in group that I was backing out you all knew I was full of crap.”   and he said “yes we did but we couldn't tell you that.”   I got quiet for about 10 seconds and then I got a revelation that the peace that I got Sunday night after sending the email was not peace at all.  The peace was disguised as relief.      When does a deceived person know he is deceived?       what I realized is that when I prayed about it for the last couple of days I hear yes and I hear no and I hear yes and I hear no.   That only happens when you already heard from Holy Spirit what you're supposed to do but you're hoping he's going to change his mind.

So I am in …. I am going on The Way.   thank you for sending me the email.  Because of your obedience Holy Spirit had me call my brother  so Holy Spirit could say it was relief I felt not peace in my heart. 

2 John 1:6 And this is love, that we walk according to his commandments; this is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning, so that you should walk in it.

       John 13:3 During supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, to betray him, 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God, 4 rose from supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist.

            This morning as I was reading this really struck me and the feeling of wanting to write again came over me.    I know it has been a while since I have written anything. I just haven't had anything to write.   I am not sure if that is the exact case though,   but I'm writing today. As I'm reading this morning in John chapter 13 where Jesus washes the disciple’s feet it just dawned on me that Jesus is going to be washing the man's feet that is going to later betray him.  He breaks bread with the one who is going to betray him. Might this be what forgiveness looks like?  forgiving the man who you know is going to betray you before he is going to betray you. Yet you still wash his feet and you still break bread with him?

  Think about this for a moment.  What if you knew that someone who you loved was going to betray you before they actually betrayed you?   When I think back at times in my life where I have held back forgiveness because of what someone did to me after they did it.   Jesus loved Judas right where he was at...... unconditionally.   Even after the betrayal happened Jesus never held un-forgiveness towards Judas.  He never said, “you owe me, you need to say you’re sorry, you need to ask for my forgiveness, you need to pay me back for what you did to me!”   He never said any of those things.  What He said was, “it is finished.”  So my question to you is ……. Who owes you?   Who needs to say I am sorry for what I did to you?   If there is someone in your life that you feel needs to come to you and say some of these things, then you need to search your own heart.   If this person is deceased, then they will never be able to say I am sorry.   What does that say about you?   What does that say about the condition of your own heart?

Kevin

Romans 12:15

I was listening to Todd White this morning.  It has been awhile.   He makes a statement that just made me pause.  He said “People are waiting for you to step in to who God created you to be so other people can have permission so they can live like the bible says they can.”   Romans 10:15  And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written,  “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” Todd says, “How will they see unless you live by example?”

I just had to think a minute and ask the question.  Do I do that?  I thought …….  I do that on quest but what about the rest of the time when I am not on quest?   Not as much.   I actually had the thought that sometimes I don’t want people to know that about me in case I fall.  Case in point …… when I am driving or dealing with someone on the phone about customer service.   Or do I choose the people that I need to know that I walk with Jesus when it is convenient for me?   Which is really  not good thinking.   I am actually working for a client who is a non-believer.   I found that out in a very awkward way and Holy Spirit told me to shut up.  Holy Spirit told me that I would not lose the job because of my comments.  I have you there on purpose.   So the whole time that I have been working there I have been Jesus with skin on.   I have not mentioned Jesus once only lived it.   I feel Holy Spirit is saying when you receive your final payment then you are to sit down and tell them you story.   I have beautiful feet……..      

Do I live in such a way that when people are around me,  they feel convicted by the way I live?