It has been a while since I have written anything. It has been a long seasons it seems. I have been some what going through a
rough patch. There have been good days
and not so good days. I could say I have
had to make myself be in the word and make myself pray, make myself be still. Hate that those things need to be a
struggle. They usually are not. I am sure some of you can relate.
This is from part of an email I sent to the men I walk with “. As I
told Scott yesterday “I need to get my heart back” not sure if that is correct,
but it is what sounds the most logical. It
is hard to pin point exactly what is going on.
I have a great marriage for the most part. (We have our stuff just like
everyone else does) A successful business, Friends that love me. A nice truck (HA) and I just feel like
sitting down and having a good cry, but not sure what I want to cry about. After reading an email from Coach to me, I tear
up. I believe, I feel, I know, however
you want to slice it. I am not trusting
the Lord on some level. I know you
either trust him or you don’t. So I am
excited but nervous about this Quest. We
leave next Tuesday, I don’t feel like I
am beating myself up so there is no stick.
This morning as I am praying in my driveway I am asking for
understanding in an area that has been bothering me. While I am asking I hear “you don’t need to
understand” I hear that over my
thoughts. I quickly said, “Yes I
do” In my spirit I know that the answer is “no you don’t.” That is when the scripture came to me “my
ways are not your ways.” So why do I
want to argue? I know it was Holy Spirit
……. I know it was. It is all about
trusting the Lord and not having to understand why things happen the way they
do. I don’t like that. Just being honest. (can you say want to be in control?) (can
you say pride… my way is better)
Isaiah 55:8 (NKJV) 8 “For
My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
Here is a scenario for you.
Why is it so easy to trust man than the Lord? You fly in a jet that is man-made 32000 feet
in the air trusting that it is not going to crash. You ride in a gondola that has you suspended
1300 feet above the rocky terrain. Are you
praying the whole time that the 1 inch cable doesn’t snap? No you just get on and ride and not give it
another thought. On the jet you take a
nap, but if you need to put a loved one in the hands of the Lord I think for
some of us that is a different ballgame.
I could go on and on but I think you get my point. Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
Bless you today, If
nothing changes then nothing changes.
Peter had been up all night fishing and had caught nothing, and in the morning, was back on shore cleaning his nets. I imagine his back was hurting from casting all night, he probably had a splitting headache and stunk like old bait. He stomach was most likely doing back flips cause he hadn't eaten, his feet were aching and all pruned up from standing in the boat and he was probably anxious about how he was going to pay rent, cause he had no fish to sell. Simply put, Peter was tired.
ReplyDeleteThen he looks down by the dock and sees a Man jump into his boat and start preaching to anyone who will listen. It's a wonder they didn't have a fight right there by the lake that morning, NEVER mess with a man's boat!! :o)
But why did Jesus choose Peter's boat from which to preach? The Bible says there were other boats there. Or why did Jesus decide to preach from a boat that morning anyway, when He could be better heard up on the shore, amongst the people?
You know the answer Kee. Because He was meeting Peter right where he was... in the ditch, so to speak.
And after Jesus tells Peter to go back out and cast again, and he hauls in the miraculous catch, what does Peter do? He asks Jesus to leave him, because of his sin, that he's not worthy to be in the presence of such greatness.
Now think about this...Jesus has met Peter where he's at, in the ditch... He's ministered to Peter all morning through the sermon and their time together on the boat... He's provided an immediate solution to many of Peter's problems with the miraculous catch... and He may well have even organized Peter's tackle box while he was at it. And now Peter is commanding Jesus leave him because he's a sinner and not worthy??? He's basically telling Jesus, 'you brought me down this path and even though it's what I want and what I've prayed for, I don't want it, I'm not worthy.' I'd say that is shocking if not for the fact that I've done the same thing myself a hundred times.
Kee, you might feel like you are in the ditch right now, but Jesus is right there with you. He's asked you to follow Him and be a fisher of men, just as he asked of Peter. And you have been an obedient fisherman, leading countless lost men to the foot of the cross. God has you right where he NEEDS you to be in taking you through this difficult season. The nets will be full again soon my brother, just keep on fishing.
-Scott
The Word of God is the Sword of the Spirit, which if rightly handled, will deal defeat to Satan in his attempts to snare the righteous.
I have thought about this email all day long, I wanted to reply early this morning but took the time to think about it. You've done so much in my life it's unbelievable and I know you have done so much more in others! I'm sorry times are difficult for you right now. Thank you for being in my life and being my friend. Stay the rocky path, because it's only rocky right now!
ReplyDeleteThank you for being there for me and I only hope to return that for you someday!
Eric
It seems like every time you send out an email after a period of quiet you catch me on a bad day and say something I need to hear. I lost $40K yesterday while I'm in the middle of transitioning from the AF into civilian industry.
ReplyDelete"This morning as I am praying in my driveway I am asking for understanding in an area that has been bothering me. While I am asking I hear “you don’t need to understand” ..."
Yep, that's what I needed to hear.
Thanks for being faithful, brother.
Jonathan
I appreciate you and your sharing. I too struggle and continue to pull out my notes on allowing someone else to drive while I ride as the passenger in the back seat. Trust the driver to get me there safely and not question how, why, or when? Big thing for me. Trust.
ReplyDeleteSee you Tuesday and allow me to drive you to the ranch.
Dale
Love it.
ReplyDeleteCarrie
You're an awesome brother praise him just sit there and start shouting praise him stir up the gift in you, stir up until it over takes you, he is on the inside of you shut the mind off and praise and worship him soul line up with the spirit stop
ReplyDeleteMaking all that noise.
Michael
Thanks Kee! I needed this one today. I’ve been challenged lately and I’m trying to get back to the place I was when I left Quest but it seems like something always gets in the way. (me)
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing this.
Troy
Kee
ReplyDeleteThanks for your transparency, willingness to share. Been there done that and find myself there from time to time. It is good to be reminded how to move on and get through it. I have to check my motivation and what is my purpose...
Jimbo
Kee
ReplyDeleteThanks for being real.
Mark
Kevin,
ReplyDeleteIn response to your latest email... I will always be thankful for the way you served me in my need during Quest 117. Of all the leaders there you were the one I received the most from.
I think I have mentioned before how I imagined you to be by reading your emails prior to Quest and meeting the impressive man that you truly are at Quest. I think this is "a way with man" that we imagine one thing and then come face to face with the truth.
As "men" we will always come short of the image we want people to see, but He will always see us as His son.
You continue to be a man of blessing to me.
David,
Sent from my private jet.
There is Power in the name of Jesus!!! There is Power in the name of Jesus!!! To break EVERY CHAIN BREAK EVERY CHAIN, BREAK EVERY CHAIN!!!
ReplyDeleteLove you guys!!!
Jeremy