What is your Gethsemane?

I've been doing a lot of reading lately.  Now I'm in a new book,  have been reading it for a while now.  It's called “The One Jesus loves.”  It has been a very good read but the last 3 or 4 days I've been stuck in chapter 33.

Chapter 33 is about "Weeping with Christ" Before we drink the cup, we must hold it!

3:10 Oh to comprehend the dynamic of his resurrection! His resurrection is evidence of our righteousness! In the revelation of God’s economy of inclusion, I co-suffered with him and co-died together with Christ! (Because I was already fully represented in his sufferings, his death and resurrection, I am greatly inspired when faced with contradictions now!) 3:11 When confronted with death, I actually come face to face with my own resurrection! The Mirror

So, what I have been really chewing on is what is my Gethsemane? My Gethsemane is the place where I can count the cost.  In other words, God is calling me to do something and whatever that is I'm going to have to count the cost.  What is God calling me to do?   I feel I must ponder and pray and sweat bullets and struggle and weep and wonder what is going to be required to follow him into the garden and weep with him.  I don't know what that is yet.

I guess a good example would be God has called you to something and you sit there and wonder and pray is there any other way I can do this? Jesus asked. Jesus said my father if it is possible may this cup be taken from me Matthew 26:39

So, for me I'm still asking seeking and knocking what does my Gethsemane look like.   Some of you know what Gethsemane looks like because you're running from it.  Maybe I'm running from it I don't know.

  Gethsemane is a place of coming to terms with the will of God. It is a place where we Face God's will head on. At Gethsemane, we look honestly and clearly at what God has called us to do. We consider the call and we count the cost. 

Emphasis is a direct quote from the book

Gethsemane is a place of surrender it's not the cross it is not the place where we die but it is the place where we are told we are going to die. You know dying to yourself total surrender so that we may live for God, so we can live in his will and not our own