Amazing Love

Amazing Love:

This is short and right to the point. I cannot explain it. I can only say that the Lord spoke to my wife through a movie. Through an act of love from her I am walking in complete freedom…. The desire today has been taking away and I am free. When I say the desire has been taking away that is what I mean. Just lifted …. "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

1 Corinthians 9

1 Corinthians 9:1-2
Am I not as free as anyone else? Am I not an apostle? Haven't I seen Jesus our Lord with my own eyes? Isn't it because of my work that you belong to the Lord? Even if others think I am not an apostle, I certainly am to you. You yourselves are proof that I am the Lord's apostle.NLT

Apostle (uh-pahsʹuhl), the English transliteration of a Greek word meaning 'one who is sent out.' An apostle is a personal messenger or envoy, commissioned to transmit the message or otherwise carry out the instructions of the commissioning agent.

So I am reading in my OC this morning which takes me to 1 Corinthians 9. Sometimes I like to believe I am not as free as everyone else. THAT IS A LIE! I am as free, I am an Apostle, and I have seen Jesus! After I have read the definition or the transliteration it makes perfect sense. The chapter really spoke to me this morning. There is so much in it. The chapter finishes off very well with 24-27.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27
don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.
NLT

 

I leave you with questions?

• Are you as free as everyone else?
  
• Are you an apostle
  
• Have you seen Jesus
  
• Do you trust Jesus
  
• Are you disciplined
  
• Do you run with purpose
  

 

 

You are not disqualified!

 

 

Surrender

Spending time with Oswald Chambers this morning and his devotion came out of Hebrews 4 so I read Hebrews 4. The whole chapter spoke to me but these two verses especially. Hebrews 4.10 For all who have entered into God's rest have rested from their labors, just as God did after creating the world. ¹¹ So let us do our best to enter that rest. But if we disobey God, as the people of Israel did, we will fall. Obliviously the passage is talking about taking a Sabbath. A day off from work and just resting. We can't even do that most of the time. I will put another spin on it, How about just resting in His arms for 10 minutes. For me that is a hard thing to do. That is surrender
……. That is total surrender. How many of us will just flat not take the time to stop and rest? Get quiet? Be still? We are so stinking busy that we rationalize our time with the Lord. How many of you keep a daily planner? You schedule everything … from picking up the kids to school to your daily meeting with the manager of your work to your 10.00 conference call that you have every day with the owner. Maybe even your daily planner has your weekly appointment with your pastor, but nowhere on your planner does it have time with the Lord, why is that? I think for most of us, we just believe that we are going to spend time with Him and rest. The truth is that we just wave good bye in the morning on our way out the door and say I will catch you tomorrow and He just sits and rest and waits for us. Now I am not saying that everyone does this … what I am saying is that it is a common thing. I have done this myself. The flipside is if you do the very same thing every day then does it become religion? I don't think so if you are doing it because you love the Lord.

Here is what François Fenelon the Archbishop of Cambria said in the 17^th century.  He was the spiritual advisor to Louie the 14^th.  He said this in a letter to the King about surrender.  There is more in the letter but this is the main point. Let me tell you what real surrender is.  It is simply resting in the love of the Lord, as a little baby rests in his mother arms.  A perfect surrender must even be willing to quit surrendering, if that is what the Lord wants.  We renounce ourselves, and yet, God never lets us know when it is complete.  If we knew, it would no longer BE complete, for there is nothing that bolsters the ego quiet so much as knowing that it is fully surrendered.
Surrender consist, not in doing great, heroic deeds about which self can brag, but simply in accepting whatever God sends, and not seeking to change it.   Full surrender is full peace. If we are restless and concerned about things that are formally renounced, we have not genuinely surrendered. Surrender is the source of true peace. If we are not at peace. It is because our surrender is not complete.

 

Psalm 139

139:23-24 which says

    Search me, O God, and know my heart;

Try me and know my anxious thoughts;

And see if there be any hurtful way in me,

and lead me in the everlasting way.

 

The lie I like to believe is looking at porn is okay occasionally. ( I came up with a new term … Porn Binging.  Like an alcoholic that goes on a drinking binge) I know that is not true, but I want to believe it.  This is what my confessional project centers on.    I struggle with discipline in all areas of my life and it starts with the lack of discipline in my life and it has a trickledown effect in every other area of my life.  I have confessed and repented more times than I can count to the point of sometimes thinking  "What is the point?".  I sometimes feel like I am destined to be like this.  I have my good moments when I can go months without looking at anything.  I know the Holy Spirit showed me a couple years ago that my  biggest issue is it is my choice.  I have given you all of the tools to defeat this.  (Okay I just got my world rocked just now, what comes next is from Holy Spirit,  I have never heard this from Him before,  I am in tears)   but you choose not use everything I have given you  So really the choice is not the fact that I choose not to go there it means that I don't choose what He has given me to beat this thing. Now I can say PRIDE  He showed me that as well.  Sheer determination not to do something is like white knuckling it.  when it comes to not snorting cocaine after using for 5 years,  White knuckling will only take you so far…. I know this for a fact.  I have been there.  I have not touched cocaine since May 12^th 1988 but it was not because I white knuckled it.  Hear is another lie that was just revealed to me.  I did not rely on Jesus to save me from cocaine addiction, it was the fear of losing everything … namely my wife and kids.  It had nothing to do with God.  I am not saying god did not have anything to do with that.  In my mind it was sheer determination and going to the hospital that saved me.  I believe that is the root  ………………………………………………  Holy Spirit says yes that is the root!

The lie was I did it!   I beat the cocaine addiction (that was when there was only one set of foot prints in the sand) and now I feel I can still do it with the lust.  That is a LIE!

Galatians 6:7-9  As I have been mediating on this Wise words from Holy Spirit the last two weeks.  I have come to a couple of conclusions. 

• If I am not sowing to please the Spirit, then there is only one thing left that I am doing and that is sowing to please my sinful nature.  NOT PRETTY!
  
• I will reap a harvest if I don't give up!  I can tell you right now……. When It comes to ME fighting this battle I am weary.
  

Jesus says ….. comes to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest for your soul.  I am truly not sure if I have ever allowed rest for my soul.   I am going to say that I DID NOT WANT TO DO THE CONFESSIONAL PROJECT AND I WAS NOT GOING TO DO IT.  It was either be obedient or not… I chose the latter. 

 

Thank you Jesus

John 7.38

John 7:38 ^tHe who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, ^uout of his heart will flow rivers of living water." I got this passage from Oswald Chambers this morning. He talks about the river of God flowing though us and when there are obstacles in our way, God will remove the obstacles or take you around them. At that point He will show up bigger. As I am reading this morning and being quiet. I hear just be yourself and don't try to be something you're not. What does that mean? .Sometimes we try to be something we are not when we are around certain people. Like going on staff on Quest. If you go because of how it may make you look then I believe you are creating an obstacle. You have to be going for the right reasons and just be yourself. I can't tell you how many times I have gone and felt like I wasn't doing anything and then after the event was over. Men would come up to me and say what a blessing I was. Those men would be the ones I did not connect with. God shined through me in spite of myself. So what I am saying is don't be someone you are not. It does not matter if you are on quest or doing life in the real world. Be who God called you to be.

Are you?

I’m Healed

1 Corinthians 16:13
Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.NASB95 I am ever so amazed at the Lord. It is 12.33 last night and I am dead tired. I crawled into bed and choose to read a little. Let me recap the day a little. I did some things and I got caught by my wife (and I was glad) I confessed and she prayed over me and I got HEALED! That is what scripture says …. Confess to one another so you may be healed, the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. James 5:16.
It does not say confess to God ONLY it says confess to one another. How does this work ….. I don't know but it DOES! 30 to 40 minutes later I realized I was better! My mind was better, my heart is better and my soul is healed! Once again, the Lord speaks to me through His word and it penetrated my heart and that is a good thing. So this morning I decided to read a little more so I went backwards to chapter 15 and I got this word and it spoke to me as well. 1 Corinthians 15:58
Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord.NASB95 The last thing I heard this morning is the word "Trust" I am going on Quest and I am right in the middle of two big jobs that I really feel that I have no business leaving at this critical time. I had asked the Lord for confirmation about going on this Quest and I received it the next day in a phone call. I have peace about going, but my flesh is gnawing at my flesh. I am leaving these two jobs in the very capable hands of a very good friend of mine who I trust completely. There is still the element of the flesh that wants to be here to oversee. So once again "trust" Yesterday I said "My heart does not feel prepared" After the confession and the prayer and your prayers and the words form the Lord I can say My HEART is prepared to go on Quest Tuesday.

Today my Heart is good. How is your Heart?

Psalm 139: 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! 24 And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!

Matthew 6.6

Matthew 6.6  But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.

I have often said and believe that this passage means to me to go to the secret place close the door and leave all of your crap outside. No distractions…. Crawl up in your Daddy's lap and just listen and let Him hold you. Don't say a word. If you are talking you cannot hear. A friend told me this below today and I believe it is the formula for hearing the Lord.

Pursuing God's voice

1. Silence your body to hear your words

2. Silence your words to hear your thoughts

3. Silence your thoughts to hear your heart

4. Silence your heart to hear your spirit

5. Silence your spirit to hear God's voice

It is all about pursuing Silence.

Right now I am having the hardest time hearing I have so much going on in my mind. I have actually had to take Tylenol pm to sleep on a few nights. I am leaving to go on Quest next Tuesday and right at this moment my heart does not feel prepared. I know once I get on the bus I will be better. Right now I just can't shake that feeling. Please pray for me.

Thank you Lord for the RAIN!

Kevin

James 1:26-27

Anyone read James lately?

 

As I am reading this morning I can't help but be taken back to James 1:26-27 this is a life scripture for me.  Most of you have heard about the widows and orphans but not in the context that I will show you.  This goes right in line with your devo this morning.  In 2007 I went on an event and one of the passages I memorized was James 1:26-27.  How many times as men, especially those of us who are married are so quick to minister outside of our home before we minister inside our home.  Holy Spirit showed me through a man that I was making my wife and my children widows and orphans in my own home.  I said that is ridiculous I am alive!    He said "I understand that"  "here is what I mean; you are always doing outside of your home …. Church, men's group, Serving on Quest, Helping other people, but when it comes to your family, they get the crumbs or they do not get anything from you.  Well that did not sit well with me …… again.  As iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another.  A couple of nights went by and I was sitting at the table and my wife was helping me with memorizing this passage.  I told her what I just shared with you and said "are you a widow in this home?"  She looked at me and said without blinking an eye.  Yes I am pretty much a widow.  Then she said, "I never get the minister voice that I hear you speak to other men on the phone,   I want you to talk to me that way and you never do.  It was a sad day for me but a good day.  Now I look for opportunities to minister to my wife.  

 

So basically to me what verse 26 means is if you don't minister in side of your home then what you do outside of your home is worthless  ( doesn't taste good)

Verse 27 means minister to your family then you will be pure and unblemished in the sight of God and there will be not a widow or any orphans in your home (taste really good)

 

James 1:26 If anyone thinks himself to be religious (piously observant of the external duties of his faith) and does not bridle his tongue but deludes his own heart; this person's religious service is worthless (futile, barren).

27 External * religious worship [* religion as it is expressed in outward acts] that is pure and unblemished in the sight of God the Father is this: to visit and help and care for the orphans and widows in their affliction and need, and to keep oneself unspotted and uncontaminated from the world.

 

Do You have any widows or orphans in your home?

Humility

Here is what He is showing me. Humility! I have several construction jobs going on. When there are several jobs going I become like the juggler you see on TV who is spinning about 15 plates or so. You know who I am talking about. He is constantly spinning a plate to keep them all going. Right now that is what I feel like. I have fifteen plates spinning and I had about 8 of them crash to the floor and shatter this week. What the Lord showed me today is I am responsible for spinning those plates and if I would pay more attention to the details instead of the big picture then it would be easier to keep the plates spinning and then there would be no broken plates. Which means …… no mess to clean up or unexpected job expenses. He also showed me that I am the cause of the majority of my pain because I did not pay attention to the details. That is always nice when the Lord shows you that it was your fault and no one else's. Hmmmmmm

 

After the week I have had, I actually thought for just a moment (actually a couple of seconds) felt like everyone was out to get me. Is that a lie from the enemy or what!

 

I am alive

I am healthy

I am working

My family is healthy

The Lord loves me

I love Him

My son in law

I wrote about this a few days ago and it really hit me tonight. Always be prepared to give a reason for the hope that you have. Always be Jesus with skin on because you never know who is watching. I had the privilege of meeting a young man about 5 years ago. He is the daddy of my grandson and his name is Dantrell. I have not seen him in like a year or year and half … not sure. Dantrell and my daughter went their separate ways and it was hard on both of them and little Jeremiah. Last Friday we met Dantrell in Denton to pick up Jeremiah and take him to Amarillo to be with his mom. That was very hard for me to see those two saying goodbye to each other. It broke my heart. Tonight I get a text message from him out of the blue and it says I just wanted to tell you that you are the number 1 person in this world that I look up to and I wish my dad was like you. What an Honor. Very humbling. I got some more text from him and I really felt like I needed to call him. So I did …. He was in tears but it was good. I believe God has him right where he wants him. We talked about 30 minutes and I prayed for him. He said he would go on a Quest I just don't know if he can get off work. Please pray for him. I am trying to see if I can get him on August. We will see what Holy Spirit Says about that. The reason I share this is because you never know who you are going to impact with your actions or re actions so be Jesus with skin on and

 

Givem Heaven out there!

Are you prepared?

Romans 1:5 Through Christ, God has given us the privilege* and authority as apostles to tell Gentiles everywhere what God has done for them, so that they will believe and obey him, bringing glory to his name.

1 Peter 3:15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear;

This is all about walking in who you are as an Apostle, being able to give your testimony in Love not bashing someone over the head as a religious person may do. When you are walking and living in His love, you will be bringing Glory to His name and not yours.

Are you prepared today to bring Glory to His name?

Hebrews 10

 

Hebrews 10.32 Think back on those early days when you first learned about Christ.^* Remember how you remained faithful even though it meant terrible suffering.

Many years ago the Holy Spirit showed me to stay off the computer in the morning and my phone. To give Him the first fruits of the morning. No TV, no computer, no work …. Just him. I am amazed at how often I hear Him in the morning. It usually comes in the form of "What are you doing? That is not what I said do. How long are you going to continue to do this instead of listening to me? Or at night I hear "you going to pray? I just ignore. This morning was the first time in a long time I left everything off and just read and listened and it felt good. The passage above made me think about where I was 10 years ago …….. Lost and my marriage was going down the tubes and then it hit bottom. I started going back to church and was on fire for everything. I did whatever the church leaders told me to do and I did not question that. I was a baby craving spiritual milk. I went through some suffering but I remained faithful. Now I am ten years later, I am faithful but do I trust as much as I did 10 years ago? Am I as patient? Am I as passionate?

Are you?

Hebrews 10 ³⁵ So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! ³⁶ Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.

Stand Firm

Isaiah 7:9 Israel is no stronger than its capital, Samaria,

and Samaria is no stronger than its king, Pekah son of Remaliah.

Unless your faith is firm,

I cannot make you stand firm." As I read this passage this morning it made me wonder. A company is only as strong as its leader. A country is only as strong as its leader. A marriage is only as strong as the husband. So many times I pray for strength or resolve or patience or discipline when in reality I already have these things I just don't stand firm. Enough said.

Isaiah 42

Could not sleep last night, I am feeling a little overwhelmed with all of the work I have going on. I was up for at least three hours last night. I could not shut off my brain. I have more work right now than I could imagine and it just keeps coming. I would ask for prayer for me to be focused and confident in what I do and to be better organized. 16 I will lead blind Israel down a new path, guiding them along an unfamiliar way. I will brighten the darkness before them and smooth out the road ahead of them. I take this scripture and believe that it is for me. It took two chapters to get there. I am not saying that I am blind but I am in uncharted territory. In the next two months I will have made more money that the previous 18 months.

The next word I got is familiar territory and that is not a good thing Isaiah 42:20 you see and recognize what is right but refuse to act on it. You hear with your ears, but you don't really listen." Here is the truth, I am overweight and I hate it, I am completely out of shape, my joints hurt, I hate to bend over. Everything is a chore. I know I need to eat right, but I don't , I know I need to exercise, but I don't. I wrote about this at the start of the year, and then I broke my leg. Still could have at right though. So the bottom line is I am walking in rebellion. James says that he who knows what to do and does not do it, that is sin to him.

So I confess rebellion and fouling up God's Holy Temple with the lack of exercise and not eating right. You know what to pray for. Bless you Kevin

A little dog

The power of a little dog. We adopted a little Jack Russell mix about five weeks ago. It has been an interesting time. The dog is two years old and house broken and was abused. We were told she was not abused, but we are finding out through my big burliness and voice that she was. I want to name the dog skitso because with me she has a split personality. James 3.5 In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. (OR MAKE A LITTLE DOG PEE!) I am convinced that the Lord has a sense of humor and brought this little dog to us. My wife has observed the dog react to my voice when my tone is in a bad way and she cowers even if I am not talking to her. If my tone in my home is how it should be, with honor and respect for the ones who live in my home then I don't have to worry about this dog leaving puddles around my home. In a way, I have to walk on egg shells at times and that is okay because it is about my tone around my family. This dog is here to help me and I receive that.

So here is my question to you. If my little dog lived in your home for a while would you have pee stains on your carpet?

Isaiah 40

Sometimes it is the most subtle word from the Lord that penetrates the deepest. So why do you think it is when you know the truth …….. People tell you the truth. You tell yourself the truth, but nothing clicks until you read it straight from the word of God. That is what happened. A word from the Lord this morning during my short time with Him this morning. Isaiah 40:2 ………..tell her that her sad days are gone and her sins are pardoned ………………….This is what I heard this morning and I receive it.

Amen

Just being Honest

The poem is one that I wrote back in 03. I found an old disk that had some files on it and that poem was one of them. I read it and it spoke to me like I wrote it today. My wife asked me a question yesterday and I did not know how to answer it. She said "Why do you hate yourself so much?" I did not know how to respond to that. I got really jacked up over something that happened a while back. I am not sure if I am entirely over it. It is not working for me. Pain is inevitable but am I choosing to suffer?

I really have to wonder if I am walking in humility? am I tending to my wife's garden?

I don't want to read ….. I don't want to pray …… I don't like that….. there is no desire and no passion in my heart right now. Just being honest. I don't want to go to Church because I don't want to be a poser. I have my friends that I am being real with. This is just where I am at.

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. 

2 Chronicles 7:14

Where I am at

You have a choice

 

There is a truth that we seek.

Without this truth we become weak.

There is a road we must all travel.

It is with Jesus or our lives will unravel.

 

Think of the Holy One

And the road He took.

The price He gave.

So He could rise from the grave.

 

He ascended to the Heavens

On that special day

Forever to be by His Fathers side

So He can spread His love worldwide.

 

Do you have His love in your heart?

Or does your life feel torn apart?

Do you walk with an Angel?

Or has your life become tangled?

 

He wants you to follow Him

He forgives you of your sin.

Even when you walk at night,

His light shines bright.

 

You have a choice when you live

Should you be into yourself,

Or should you give?

If you do not give, you will have no wealth.

 

Walking with Jesus is the way.

Speak to Him when you pray.

Thank you Lord for Your grace.

Then one day I will see Your face.

 

What a special day that will be,

Just think You were once a stranger to me.

I was never a strange to You

Your love was/is always true.

 

By kevin gwyn

Copyright © June, 1^st. 2003

I was hurt

Did you know that when you carry "the Bible", Satan has a headache, when you open it, he collapses, when he sees you reading it, he loses his strength, AND when you stand on the Word of God, Satan can't hurt you! I received this in an email this morning and it really struck a chord with me. This is who I have not been in the last almost two weeks. On May 21^st I was judged very harshly for something I did or said. This person decided on his/her own that the reason I said what I said was for the reasons he thought. What I said was not for the reasons this person thought. He/she tried me, convicted me and sentenced me without every even talking to me. and now we do not speak to each other. It just goes to show that when you add a why to the reason someone does something then you will essentially cause your own pain. I have opened my house to this person and walked with this person for almost two years and now, today it is over. That is okay, you can only reach for so long until the rope runs out. So what happened to me? It took me out …. I was hurt and wondered why and before I knew it I was not reading or praying or writing or anything. I could see it happening, but in my mind I was not willing to do anything about it. I was angry and hurt and instead of running to the source of my comfort, I just kept quiet. That is where I have been. I walk in forgiveness and peace

 

 

7 "Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.

Hebrews 10

Someone asked me yesterday "how is your heart?" I gave the standard poser answer because I didn't feel like getting into it right at that moment. My heart is sad. There is very sweet lady that I have been praying for, my mother in law and other people having been praying for her as well. We have had great words spoken over her about her healing, but it feels like the prayers are going UN answered. The doctors are saying there is nothing else they can do, so it looks like they are going to move her to hospice Thursday. My wife who has been very strong during this time broke down yesterday for the first time that I have seen. It hurt to see her like that, I know it is life, but why can't the evil just get snuffed out and leave the good people alone. I have a lady who I am supposed to add on to her house, that I have only known for three months. People have been praying for her as well. I went to the hospital last Friday. She had some questions for me and then we gathered around and prayed for her healing so she could go home. Now she is worse and is having 24 hour care. You hear about this happening a lot, prayers that seem to go UN answered, but do they. It can and sometimes makes it very hard to pray when you feel like your prayers are going UN answered. Prayer is how we communicate with God; we just have to remember are we listening when we are praying? Or is it just a one side conversation. I received a little comfort this morning in the word. Hebrews 10 ^and so, dear brothers and sisters,^* we can boldly enter heaven's Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus. ²⁰ By his death,^* Jesus opened a new and life-giving way through the curtain into the Most Holy Place. ²¹ And since we have a great High Priest who rules over God's house, ²² let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ's blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water.

²³ Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise